Unpretty
by MyGhela
Summary: Feeling alone sucks, feeling unpretty is awful, being depressed kills and finding someone who can help you through all that is the best feeling in the world. But this journey wont be easy. What journey is? EDITED !
1. Chapter 1

**BTW in this story when Mick broke up with Amber she got over him really fast and she and Mara are still friends but Patricia and Amber did switch rooms**

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><p>My name is Mara Jaffray and I feel pretty unpretty right now. I have to admit to myself that I will never be the girl anyone wants. I'm not one of those flawless looking girls, I'm a book worm I'm a little awkward during socializing with other people.<p>

I have to just admit to myself no guy will like me even Mick admitted that he was only using me to get over Amber and to help him with his training program and homework. I am nobody's dream girl. I should just be happy for what I get. I get great grades and basically that's all, my parents rarely visit no one in the house talk's to me anymore since me and Mick broke up I could never get what I want.

No matter how hard I try. I just have to accept the fact that I'm just "the strange book-worm" no guy wants me and wants to date me. I guess I just have to live with my horrible life to be honest I don't really know why I feel like this. I use to think I was sorta cute to myself but when I entered the Anubis house that change for some reason.

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><p><em>I opened the door to Anubis house when a woman wearing an apron holding a tray of cookies greeted her<em>

_"Oh hi deary, I'm Trudy I'll be your house mother for the time that you'll be staying in this house" Trudy said_

_"Hi, I'm Mara" I said_

_"Well Mara, your room will be on the second floor the door to the left" Trudy said_

_"Oh thanks" I said_

_"Do you need any help with your luggage" Trudy said placing the tray of freshly bake cookies on a table_

_"No I'm fine" I said headed for the stairs_

_When I opened the door I saw a pretty no, not pretty but a beautiful girl. A beautiful long haired blonde with dark blue eyes, with pink lips and flawless skin_

_"Oh hi" The blonde said when she saw me at the door frame. She was fixing her things, she had a lot of makeup but she didn't have that much makeup on her face when I first saw her._

_"Hello" I said looking at her. I was amazed how beautiful she was. I never have seen some one as beautiful as her before. I was snap out of my train of thought when she spoke._

_"You must be my roommate, Im Amber and you are?" She said smiling_

_"Im Mara" I said shaking her hand_

_"Well, hello Mara. Which bed would you like" She said pointing to the bed. Her things were already on the bed next to the window so I decided to take the other one_

_"I'll take this one" I said putting my things down on the bed_

_"Well good. Now, where did I put my lipstick" She said looking around the room._

_When I was settled I went down to the common room with my favorite book. I sat down on the chair next to the window when a light blonde haired boy walked into the room with Amber on his arm. The boy was pretty fit and good looking. I was at aw when I saw him._

_"Oh hi Mara" Amber said when she saw me reading "Boo this is my new roommate Mara, Mara this is Mick my boyfriend" When she said that it was like someone stabbed a knife in my heart._

_Ever since that day I was insecure about my looks. I always wondered what Amber had that I didn't_

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><p>I was walking home when a group of cheerleaders walked up to me headed by a girl named Chelsea . Chelsea and I use to be friends, she was actually my first friend outside of Anubis house but when Chelsea joined the cheerleader squad we drifted apart. They ganged up at me and just started insulting me and saying<p>

"For an honor student you are really stupid for thinking that Mick would honestly like you"

I didn't reply I just looked down not meeting their eyes

"Hey girls" I hear a girl yelling it was Amber wearing her cheerleading uniform "What are you guys doing to Mara"

"Nothing we were just leaving" Chelsea said and walked away with the others

"Oh Mara are you alright, don't let them get to you" Amber said hugging me but I pushed her away

"Don't touch me Amber you're the reason why this is happening to me" I yelled looking at her with tears at the side of my eyes

"What how is this my fault" Amber said surprised

"I was never insecure until I met you, now people keep calling me stupid for feeling pretty, for actually thinking that a guy like Mick would actually like me." I spatted

"Oh.. Mara.. I never knew that you… felt like that" Amber said

"You have no idea what I feel right now, I feel unpretty. inside-out. I just want to rip myself into bits and pieces and just disappear. Being alone and feeling alone is the worst but how would you know your Amber Millington every guy wants you and every girl wants to be you" I said my voice breaking and a tear escaping from my eyes

Amber just stood there in silent she didn't know what else to say so I just ran away crying.

When I got back to the house I quickly run upstairs to my room and laid on my bed and started crying. I skipped dinner that day, Patricia tried to convince me to go down but I couldn't, I wasn't hungry, I felt sick, sick of myself.

I stood up and walked to my dresser and took out a small knife and pressed it to my skin; I took a deep breath, and punctured the point of the knife into my skin, blood started to oozed down from my wrist at first it hurt a lot but I did it again and the more I did it the pain went away.

Tears started to fall from my eyes and landed on my wrist meeting with the blood that was coming out of my wrist. I continued to cut myself and more blood oozed down my arm, knowing that the rest were downstairs I ran to the bathroom and took a towel, wet it and pressed it against my wrist.

Cutting myself wasn't new to me I did it when I was 11 years old when my best friend moved away and my sister went to Dubai for her studies. I never felt more alone those days. I stopped for a while but I continued when I was 13 when my parents announced that they were sending me to boarding school.

I turned the shower on and sat there crying still holding the towel to my wrist, it stings a lot but it was better than what they would do to me if I go outside. I would just get their pity and that was the last thing I wanted for people to look down on me, they already thought of me as a "worthless book worm" and I don't want them to think I'm suicidal.

After a few minutes I got up and took a dry towel and dried myself. I went back to my room to change, it was empty; I wasn't surprised Patricia was busy with her new friends. I opened my closet and took out a grey blouse with long sleeves. I took my journal and wrote down all of my thoughts. As I was writing I heard a knock on the door.

"Mara open up it's me, Jerome" He said knocking on the door.

Jerome? What would he want? I opened the door using the arm that I cut earlier, I was weak very weak but I put on my best face and pretend like nothing was wrong. I didn't want for Jerome of all people to see me as weak as I feel.

"What do you want?" I said looking at him with a blanked expression

"I was just wondering why you didn't go downstairs for dinner." Jerome said

"I wasn't hungry." I said noticing I still had my journal open. I was just about to close it when Jerome snatched it from me and read it

**_The thoughts flood my brain when I least expect it. Little voices in my head say "Your friends will be better off without you" or "Nobody wants you". And it's getting harder to ignore._**

**_Everything sucks right now.  
>I cut myself again. It hurts more than I remembered when I was young.<em>**

When Jerome read the journal I was literally scared of what he was going to say.

"Mara what is the meaning of this?" He ask, his voice firm

"It's nothing give it back." I said but Jerome took the journal and healed it above his head. I jumped trying to reach the journal but couldn't, Jerome was too tall. As I had one arm up trying to reach for the journal, Jerome took hold of her arm, as Jerome grabbed her hand, I let out a small scream of pain. Jerome wondered why I screamed on pain and pulled my sleeve up and saw the scars

"Mara, what is the meaning of this?" Jerome said looking at my arm but I didn't answer I just looked down.

"Mara. I demand you to tell me, what is the meaning of this?" Jerome said his voice firm.

"Why should I and why do you even care?" I said looking up still Jerome holding my arm "No one ever cares about me"

When Jerome heard the last words came out from my lips he looked struck. I was trying to squirm free from his grip but he was holding me too tight. I wanted to scream but couldn't. I suddenly remembered on my first encounter with Jerome.

_"Can you please stop staring at me like that, it's creepy" I said not looking up from my book._

_"Oh was I staring? Sorry I didn't notice" Jerome said snapping out of his trance_

_"That I gathered seeing your expression" I said still not looking up from my book but I could tell he was smiling. _

_"And how would you know what my expression was if you wouldn't even look up at me" Jerome said. I looked up at him with a blank expression_

_"Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to my book" I said looking back down at my book_

_"Okay, Fine by the way I'm Jerome Clarke and you are?" He asked with a smirk on his face._

_"Name's Mara Jaffray" I replied, still not looking up at Jerome_

_"Will you please look at me" Jerome said more of a command than a request really_

_A tall dark boy, who looked as of our age suddenly entered the room with his skateboard in hand and put an arm around Jerome's shoulder._

_"Hey mate and who is this pretty girl you're talking to?" He asked._

_"Alfie get your arm off of me" Jerome said bugging Aflie's arm off of him_

_"Ouch, touchy much" Aflie said rubbing his arm_

_When I saw that scene I let out a small giggle_

_"And the book worm smile's" Jerome said with a smile on his face._

_I blushed a little but didn't really know why, I just tried to hide it by looking down_

_"Are you turning red?" Alfie asked looking closer at me._

_When Jerome noticed that I was blushing, his smile grew bigger._

_"What? I'm not blushing it's just hot and-" I was cut off by Alfie_

_"What's your name, I'm Alfred but people call me Alfie" He said giving a hand to shake but I didn't acknowledge it._

_"My name's Mara and if you'd excuse me I have to finished this book" I said standing up and headed for the stair's_

_I could feel Jerome stare at me as I ascended to the stairs and I still could feel my face flushed._

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><p>"Why do I care?" Jerome said gripping my hand even firmer "Mara I care about you a lot. I always have for a long time."<p>

"Oh really,'cause by the way your acting shows otherwise" I said fiercely. "Jerome, just leave me alone."

Instead of leaving mralone Jerome just wrapped his arm mrand hugged me. I started to cry, Jerome pulled me even closer

"Mara, it's going to be fine" Jerome whispers trying to comfort me.

"No." I said pushing Jerome way "It's not going to be fine Jerome. It had never been fine not since" I said pausing.

"Since what Mara? Tell me." Jerome said "Cause if it's because of the break up with Mick there are so many better-" He didn't got to finish the sentence when I cut him off

"No, it's not about the break up" I said looking down

"Then what tell me. I can help you" He said taking a step closer to me

"No you can't, No one can help me" I said lowering her voice and taking a step back

"We will never know if you don't tell me" Hesaid taking two steps closer to me

"And why should I tell you?" I said finally looking up to him, I noticed how closer we were but I didn't move away. "Who are you to me"

"Who am I? Who the hell am I? I'm the one who knows you the best" Jerome said leaning even closer to me. So close that the only think that was separating them was our clothes.

"Oh don't flatter yourself" I hissed. I was angry that he actually believe that he knew me the best "You know nothing about me"

"Oh I disagree. I know about when you were only 11 that your best friend moved away and your sister went to Dubai" He said, leaning his forehead against mine

"How… did... you" I said stuttering. I was beyond surprised how in the hell Jerome knew about my past.

"Don't underestimate me Mara. I know a lot of things" He whispered in my ear

"Is that so? Then I guess you're more of a creep then I thought" I leaned up and whispered in his ear

"I know a lot of things about the people I love" He said

I couldn't understand what he meant by 'people I love' What does that mean? Does that mean he loves me? But that's not possible, it was Jerome. Jerome didn't like me or did he? We had bonded for a short period of time while Mick was away in the states.

He had shared with me private tidbits about his life, about his parents, and mostly importantly, a glimpse into his real self. Jerome opened up to me about his past and I knew he didn't tell anyone else not even Alfie.

But for him to love me was just absurd.

"What do you mean people you love?" I asked unsure if I wanted to hear the answer

"You heard me I didn't stutter. I love you Mara" Jerome said leaning even closer than he already was, our lips only two inches away from each other

I shook her head and squeezed my eyes tightly shut.

_No, no, no!_

I refused to believe that Jerome actually loves me. I pushed him away and took a step back.

"You're lying" She said

"No I'm not" He said taking a step towards me

"No you can't. You can't love me Jerome. You can't!" I said breaking down on the floor crying

"And why not?" Jerome said hugging me, who was kneeling on the floor

"Cause it's not right. No one can love me. No one ever love's me. They just keep me hanging on but sometime around they would just abounded me" I said, I couldn't look up at him.

Jerome hugged me even tighter "Hush Mara. I'm here"

"Im… Im.. Im" I stuttered not knowing what to say. We just stayed at their position. Jerome lifted my chin and kissed me. I closed my eyes as I continued to cry, feeling his lips on mine.

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><p><em><strong>So what you think. When I made my cousin read it she said it stunk so tell me what you think <strong>_

_**R&R please! **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, this is kinda a long chapter and I was just really trying to write in a third person. **

**Hope you can bear with me**

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><p>Jerome was sprawled on his bed with headphones on. He was busy contemplating what just happened a few moments ago.<p>

He was trying to comfort Mara when she said something that struck a nerve in him.

_"I'm ugly and nobody wants to love me" Mara said after breaking from the kiss with Jerome "So don't lie to my face telling me that you love me cause no one ever love's me" Mara stood up and pushed Jerome out of the door and cried again not knowing what to do._

_Jerome was surprise when Mara said those words, he was shock that Mara didn't see what Jerome sees in her._

Mara is the only person that makes him nervous in the best possible way; she was and still is his best friend, she always knew what to say, she was modest, polite, and smart. Jerome was completely and utterly in love with her. But he was struck when she said those words. He felt sorry, sorry for her not seeing what an amazing person she is.

He thought that this was all the meathead's fault. But he did know this wasn't the meathead's entire fault, he knew deep in his heart he did contribute for Mara's self harm. Like for abandoning her during the elections for Amber, not speaking to her since Mick came back from L.A. and for not telling her what an amazing person she was before it was too late.

He couldn't believe that Mara cut herself. Jerome knew that Mara used to cut herself when she was young and he was hurt but he didn't knew that the things happening now will make her do self mutilation again.

"Hey mate what you listening to" Alfie said walking in making Jerome sit up from his bed

"Oh its only you, I thought you were-" Jerome was cut off by Alfie

"Thought I was who? Mara?" Alfie said teasingly.

Jerome took a pillow and through it at Alfie "Shut up and why are you dressed like that" Jerome said looking at Alfie from head to toe wearing a green T-shirt, a jacket and jeans

"Out with Amber" Alfie said grinning like a moron

"With Amber? With Amber 'I'll never go out with you' Millington?" Jerome said in disbelief

"Yup" Alfie said getting his wallet from the drawer

"Well congratz mate, you finally made her to go out with you" Jerome said sounding somewhat happy for his friend

"Thanks" Alfie said headed out the door. When the door closed Jerome resumed to his position.

Thinking what can he do to make Mara see what he sees in her?

Mara was in her room still crying when Patricia entered the room.

"Mara, are you crying?" Patricia said as soon as she sees her

Mara didn't answer; she stood up, fixes herself and went outside leaving Patricia very confused.

Mara headed out of the house, she went to the one place she knew she could get so time to think. A clearing in the woods not far from the school grounds, she sat under a tree the very same tree she went to every time she had a problem. When she first came to Anubis house she went exploring the grounds and found the clearing.

Now every time she needs to think, do some homework and there is just too much drama in house, this was the place where she would go to. She sat under the tree for a long time and thought 'why? Why was this happening to her?' She didn't know what was wrong with her; she couldn't believe that this is happening to her because of a guy and her former best friend.

Amber was pretty and talented, not the brightness star in the sky but she could always get what she wants. The last time she didn't get what she want when Mick broke up with her she got over that very quickly or she says but she was acting weird when Mara ask her if she could do the numerology thing with her and Mick.

Oh Mick. why did Mara every believed that he liked her? She was blinded by the attention to see what was really happening. When she and Mick were dating everyone was nice to her and everyone talked to her as if they were best friends. It was pretty much perfect and she didn't mind that half of the female population gave her dirty looks when she and Mick were together, she actually like it a bit.

Mara hated to be depressed, she knew if her parents and sister saw her now, they would not be pleased. Her parents didn't have time for her but they did have enough time to see how she was; once in a while they would ring her to check on her but that wasn't enough for her.

Her sister and she were so closed always e-maling each other and sometimes calling her on the phone but she still felt alone. Her housemates in the Anubis house weren't that close the barely talk to her except for Amber and Patricia but Patricia only talked to Mara cause they are roommates after all and Amber, Oh God. Amber she and Mara were friends but Mara distanced herself from Amber but she didn't know why, she just knew she had to for some reason.

Mara brought out a small compact mirror she looked at herself trying to smile but she didn't like what she saw. She throws the mirror away from her and it broke, she picked up the mirror looking at it with cracks in it.

She looks at the mirror almost in a trance; she throws it again this time completely breaking it. Bits and pieces of glass on the ground, she took a glass and pressed it against her skin.

She wanted to cut herself again but she couldn't. Her family, her once friends, her sister and _him_ all came to mind. Did she really want to live or die? Sometimes she wanted to give up and go all the way killing herself and then he comes along and changes her mind. They were friends and that's all. Mara would never ever tell anyone but she liked Jerome and after what happened earlier in the house she was wondering if what he said about loving her was true or just a joke, a very cruel joke.

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><p>Back at the house Jerome hatched a planned to make Mara realized what a wonderful person she is. He went to her and Patricia's room but it was empty, he went to the common room but she wasn't there, he tried the kitchen she wasn't there. He ask Patricia where Mara was when he saw her but Patricia only answered<p>

_'She went out, somewhere I don't know where'._

Jerome knew where Mara was, he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. Jerome knew about the tree where Mara always came when she needed time to think.

_"Nice one mate" Jerome said looking at Alfie with a unpleased look on his face "you made a perfectly cute girl run away"_

_"Oh sorry" Alfie said looking down_

_"Never mind" Jerome said sitting down on the couch_

_"Wait. Do you like her?" Alfie said sitting next to Jerome_

_"What? No I just meet the person but I do say she is quit something" Jerome said staring to space_

_"Oh well. Seen Amber lately? " Alfie said._

_Alfie started taking about alien things that Jerome could careless_

_"Yeah. So good luck with that mate" Jerome said patting Alfie on the shoulder and run to the stair trying to find Mara._

_When he knocked on her door, he didn't find Mara but instead he found Amber_

_"Jerome what are you doing here" Amber said as she open the door_

_"Well I was looking for the new girl, Mara" Jerome said trying to sound coolly_

_"She went out, not sure where." Amber said "Why what have you and Alfie done to her"_

_"What? Nothing" Jerome said surprised that he and Alfie would do anything to Mara_

_"Well bye see ya later" Jerome said leaving Amber_

_Jerome headed downstairs and went out the door to look for Mara. He saw her in the nearby clearing sitting under a tree, reading a book. That scene made Jerome fall even harder for Mara. She was beautiful, she looked perfect. The light coming from the sun was hitting her just right. Jerome hid behind a bush so she wouldn't notice him._

Since that day Jerome knew where to find Mara every time she was missing. He would always find her there. When she was missing, Jerome would always go to the clearing and see Mara under the tree. He always felt relived knowing Mara was safe and fine but this time Mara wasn't fine. She was hurt, depressed and confused.

Mara was about to slit the piece of glass on her wrist when Jerome came running out from now where and grabbing the glass from her

"Mara no!" Jerome yelled as he grabbed the piece of glass from Mara's hand

"What the hell Jerome" Mara said shocked where in the Queens name did he came from.

"Don't do it Mara. You don't have to do through with this alone." Jerome said looking at Mara

"Oh how would you now" Mara hissed " You don't know what I feel right now"

"Yes I do" Jerome said "I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the thing on the inside"

"Jerome, I can't control myself, I want to escape this hell I call my life" Mara said a tear escaping from her eye "if every day is like this, I will kill myself this year."

"Don't say that cause if you kill yourself I have to kill myself" Jerome said cupping Mara's face and whipping her tear using his thumb

"Jerome" Mara said whispering

"Listen Mara, people who die by suicide don't want to end their lives, but they want to end the pain" Jerome said

"What's wrong with me Jerome" Mara said "Why do I have to feel this way?

"I don't know but we can get help" Jerome said

"No" Mara said breaking free from Jerome's grip "I don't want to go to a psychotherapist"

"Okay fine" Jerome said taking a step closer to Mara. "But you need to stop cutting yourself, look at your arm it looks like blue cheese from all the bruises" Jerome said talking a look at Mara's arm

"I promise that I'll never cut myself again" Mara said unsure if she really meant what she said

"Good now let's get back to the house" Jerome said holding on to Mara's hand

They walked back hand in hand. There was silent but not an awkward silent. They were just glad to be with each other. For those few moments with Jerome, Mara forgot everything that was going on. It was like he was the only thing important in this place and time.

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><p><strong>Hope you like it<strong>

**R&R please ~!**

**~Thanks for reading ~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Third person again.**

**I didn't really knew if I should've kept it a third person or not~**_  
><em>

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><p>Mara walked upstairs to her bedroom to find no one, she was relieved that Patricia wasn't there. She was glad that she had time to be alone and think what was she to do now that Jerome knows what she feels. Jerome never seemed like the type of person that would actually, truly care about a person except for himself, but every time his with Mara he acted like a totally different person.<p>

_"He is different than he acts"_ Mara thought. When he was with Alfie he was a joker, he liked to scheme but Mara saw the genuine side of Jerome Clarke and she felt privilege that he would trust her enough to show the real him.

The next day in French class Mara was doodling in her notebook not paying attention to what Mrs. Andrews was saying. She wanted to cut herself so bad but she couldn't, she had a promise and she always kept her promises but this was one promise she regretted making.

Her self esteem is so fucked up she doesn't even know how to accept a compliment anymore. She can't even think they're serious, she automatically thinks' they're making fun of her. She was scribbling down on her notebook when a piece of paper landed on her desk. She looked up wondering who it was from, she looked back down opening the note, and it was from _him. _

'_Hey, Mara wanna walk back home together later' _

Mara looked up at Jerome and nodded with slight smile on her face.

After class Mara was in her locker getting her things when Jerome walked over.

"Ready?" Jerome said

"Yeah just let me get my things" Mara said getting her books from her locker "Let's go"

As Jerome and Mara was walking back to Anubis house there was silent they didn't speak a word.

"Mara" Jerome said pulling in front of her "Let's be friends"

"What do you mean?" Mara said a little surprised

"I mean, friends trust each other, right?" He said looking at her eyes

"Yes, why?" she said looking up at him

"Well, I want to be your friend. I want you to trust me. "He said holding Mara's hand "Tell me all your secret and I promise to keep them. I promise not to tell a living soul"

Mara was surprised of what she was hearing. This is so unlike Jerome. In shock Mara only nodded forcing herself to smile.

"Good" Jerome said "Now, let's get back to the house and don't tell anyone what I just said. I have a reputation to keep up. I can't let people think I've gone all soft now"

Mara didn't spoke a word all she could think about was what Jerome said.

Jerome Clarke; The world's greatest heart-breaker. He is able to tear your heart into shreds was acting different these couple of days. He wanted to be Mara Jaffray's friend. They were complete opposites but as the saying go "Opposites do attract".

"What did you say?" Jerome said curiously

"Huh? Nothing" she said not noticing she was dozing off. They were just a few steps away from Anubis house.

"Okay" he said

"Jerome" Mara said. They were in front of the door on the house

"Yeah?" Jerome said

"You said you wanted to be my friend, right?" She said

"Yes, and?" He said looking at her curiously

"Well. Friends don't leave a friend when they need them. So please don't leave me or ditch me for something cause friends don't do that" Mara said looking on the ground not noticing she was babbling

Jerome pulled Mara in a hug. Mara instantly shut her mouth and was surprised of what Jerome was doing. She was even more surprised when she realize she was hugging back

Jerome pulled back from the hug

"I will always be here for you" He said looking at her

She didn't know what to say all she could do was smile

They entered the house to find nobody there. Everyone was out. They went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

Mara was sitting in the dining table as Jerome was pouring the tea from the kettle.

"Did you know that since I came to this school everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that pain I felt so long ago; it's hurting ten times more." Mara said holding the cup of tea staring into space

Jerome sat down beside her and holds her hand

"Jerome, why are you doing this to me?" Mara said looking at him

"What do you mean?" Jerome said letting go of Mara's hand which made her flinched a little

"I mean this. Why are you being nice and kind to me" Mara said getting up from her set "You said yourself you're not kind and you do this things"

"Mara-"Jerome said

"This is not like you. You're immature and always shove your emotions deep down that even you can't show it. You love to stir up trouble. You're scheming, manipulative and insensitive" Mara ranted

Jerome stood up and kissed Mara on the lips

"What was that for?" Mara said surprised of what the blonde boy did

"That was for you to shut up and now that you have, it's my turn to talk" Jerome said running his hand in his hair "Look Mara I know what you're going through"

"Yeah right" Mara said rolling her eyes

"Having anxiety, being bipolar and I bet you even have an eating disorder" Jerome said gripping Mara's shoulders

"WHAT?" Mara said surprised "Anxiety yes but bipolar and a eating disorder that's just ridiculous"

"Oh please, one minute you open up to me and the next you rant on why I'm being nice to you. Its either you're bipolar or just plain crazy" Jerome said almost screaming at Mara

"I'm sorry" Mara said not looking up at Jerome

"What?" Jerome said

"I'm sorry" Mara said still not looking up "I know I get angry, I know I rant and scream I try to stop being rude, I try to brush things off but it's hard to do all this when I feel I'm not good enough"

"Mara" Jerome said taking a breath in "I had nightmares since the age of five  
>and I hated myself for being alive"<p>

Mara didn't know what to say she just stood there finally looking up

She looked up to his eyes, eyes that were vulnerable, eyes that were always cold and icy. Only then she realizes that she was in love with Jerome Clarke. He was his best with her and vice-versa.

To Jerome the sight of Mara's smile makes his heart sing with joy. The shine in her eyes is enough to make his heart jump. He sees her and he knows that things will be okay, in hard times in life his life. But he didn't see her smile, the light in her eyes.

"Jerome, don't hate yourself." Mara said placing a hand on his shoulder "You have done nothing wrong"

Jerome let out a small sigh "Mara, you have no idea. I'm possibly the most horrible person in this world"

"Don't say that"

"I have caused so many people pain, my parents, people I really don't give a fuck about but the most painful thing is that I caused you pain" He said tears forming in his eyes

"Hello lovelies, I'm home from the market" Trudy's voice rang out "My, what are you two doing?"

"Oh, nothing just having a cup of tea" Mara replied

"Oh I see" Trudy said

"Yeah, but I'm kinda hungry can you make me a sandwich?" Jerome said coolly

"Yup, no problem." Trudy said headed for the kitchen.

"Jerome…" Mara said after Trudy left the room

"You know what forget what I said before." Jerome said looking at Mara "But I still want to be your friend."

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><p>"Hey, Mara wanna go to a party with me?" Amber said sitting next to her on the couch.<p>

"Amber, it's not even the middle of the week, I don't have time to go to some silly little party" Mara said putting down her book.

"But I have no one to go with me" Amber whined

"Go ask, Nina or Patricia" Mara replied

"Cant, Nina has a date with Fabian, I think not sure what stage their relationship is in and Patricia said she would rather chew glass then go to a party with me" Amber said nudging Mara on the shoulder.

"Amber, get off." Mara said moving away from Amber "If that's the case, go ask all of your other friends outside of Anubis house"

"Good idea" Amber said getting up

Mara forced a smile but it was obvious it was a fake smile. A fake annoyed smile.

"You are one of the smartest students in this school" Amber said headed out of the room "Thank's Mara"

Before Amber could get out of the door she stopped on her heel and face Mara again.

"Hey, Mara" Amber said

"What now?" Mara said annoyed. Reading her book

"Where are your friends?"

When those words left Amber's lips, Mara was stun "What….do you…mean" Mara said stuttering, looking up from her book

"Well I don't see you with anyone this days, except Jerome" Amber said sitting down next to Mara "Which I may say a little weird but you two look cute together. Are you two like dating?" Amber said her voice got louder.

"What? No. Me and Jerome are not dating" Mara said blushing

"Then why are you blushing?" Amber replied seeing Mara's face turned red

"Amber, don't you have a party to go too?" Mara said changing the subject

"Oh, yeah. Almost forgot byeii" Amber said standing up and went out the door.

When she was alone, she couldn't get what Amber said 'Where are your friends'

True she had Patricia but she was mostly spending time with Nina and the others.

Mara didn't have much friend's outside of Anubis house. She did have Chelsea but when Chelsea joined the cheerleader squad, she change. She became one those of those blonde bimbo's but that isn't the only reason.

When Chelsea first joined the squad they were still a little bit close but they drifted apart when Chelsea fancied a boy, Max Stonem but Max fancied Mara. Chelsea didn't know that Max liked Mara but Mara did. Chelsea only found out when one of her squad mates told her.

Needless to say Chelsea got mad and started avoiding Mara. Mara did try to make up with Chelsea but Chelsea didn't want her nerd of her friend get the guy of her fancy. So Mara gave up. She did try to make other friends but rumors those spread fast. Chelsea started a rumor that Mara stole Max from her and she was just a cheap boyfriend stealer.

That rumor quickly past but when it did Mara didn't have the energy to make friends so she stopped trying.

Before she came to Anubis she did have plenty of friends, they still keep in tack but it still wasn't enough.

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><p><strong>What ya think~?<strong>

**R&R**

**Thanks for reading (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for not updating for a long time. Been busy**

**I'v decided to tell this in a first person.**

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><p><em>There is nothing really wrong in my life,<em>

_but my brain keeps on insisting that there is._

_Or maybe it's my heart that's doing the insisting._

_I can't really tell._

_Sometimes no matter hard we try, it's still not enough._

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><p>I watched the people pass. The mass of the crowd, sweating hot, writhing this way and that. Moving as one giant body but among itself small chattering groups of people laughing joking focusing on only themselves. Breathing separately yet at the same time, voices droning together into a gentle buzz.<p>

All going to the same place, to achieve the same goal. Ignoring everyone except themselves, and the people they'd made friends with. Not seeing me, never seeing me. They won't notice me. They never notice the one girl who knows too much, gets along better with grown-ups then those her own age. Never notice the one girl who eats alone in the library with special permission from the Librarian. Never see the one girl who's always hiding. Hiding the pain of never having friends, never being able to relate to anyone.

I was in the library eating my lunch while reading Atonement when a tall, slender girl with brown soft curls in her hair came up to me. I looked up from my lunch and book and saw her smile at me; I returned the smile but not sure who she was. I never saw her before.

"Umm. Hi?" The browned haired girl said

"Hello, may I help you?" I replied

"Yeah, I'm new and not so sure where to go" she said

"Oh, sure. Where do you need to go?" I ask

"English class with Mr. Winkler" she said looking at her schedule with an unsure voice

"Oh, well that's my next class so maybe we can walk there together" I said standing up and packing up my lunch and putting back the book on the shelf

"That be cool" she replied smiling "I'm Yuki, from Japan"

"You don't look Japanese" I said curiously

"I'm not, I'm Filipino but was born and raised in Japan" she said smiling

We walked out of the library, and then suddenly it hit me. What was I doing? Making friends with this girl, in the end she will just get new friends and leave me.

"Hey, you all right?" she ask as she noticed me zoning out

"Uh..yeah." I replied "I have to go now" I said running off

"Hey, I thought you were-" she said as I run away

I quickly ran to my locker and left her there. _What the hell? _I'm the school representative and I just left a new kid, who doesn't know where next to go. This is bad.

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><p>"So class today we are going to learn about The Rest Cure: Gender in Medicine and Literature" Mr. Winkler said enthusiastically<p>

Chorus of 'Ugh' filled the room.

I honestly don't understand why we need to learn how authors may use their literary works for social criticism. I don't mind it but I just don't get the point of it.

"Hi, is this Mr. Winkler's class?" A girl said. I looked up from my notebook doodling to find the same girl that I met in the library earlier.

"Yes and you're late" Mr. Winkler said looking at the girl with a disapproving stare

"Oh sorry 'bout that. Im new and kinda got lost…" She trailed off

"Don't care, take a sit" Mr. Winkler said

"Yes sir" She said looking around the classroom "Umm. Sir?"

"Yes?" Mr. Winkler replied

"Where do I seat" She said

"There" He said pointing to the empty chair next to me. I used to sit next to Patricia but now she sits next to Amber or Nina, when Nina and Fabian sit together.

"Hi" the girl said smiling as she placed her things on the table "Oh hey, I know you. You were the one I talked to at the library" she said rather loudly

"Quiet down there Miss…" Mr. Winkler said pointing at the girl

"…Marcello. Yuki Marcello" Yuki said finishing Mr. Winkler's sentence

"We'll Miss Marcello unless you already know how to comprehend the main ideas in the primary-source writings from the late nineteenth century and to identify and evaluate the primary focus, logic, style, and structure of a text or speech and the ways in which these elements support or confound meaning or purpose" Mr. Winkler said

"No sir" Yuki answered

"Well be quite" He said

"Yes sir" she said

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><p>"Hey, thanks for that in there." Yuki said sarcastically as she walked by me leaving Mr. Winkler's class after class<p>

"Excuse me?" I asked not sure what she's talking about

"Not backing me up" She said as if that was the most obvious thing

"Oh well, I didn't know that I should've" I said apologetically "Sorry"

"No probs but if we're going to be friends you need to know…" She said as I cut her off

"Excuse me, what? Who said anything about being friends? " I ask raising my eyebrow

"Well that's only if you want to" Yuki said

_Friends. _I would like that but not possible. She was way to pretty to be my friend. And besides if we were friends I would just make her leave in one point.

"Hey, earth to whatever your name is" she said waving a hand in my face

"What?" I said looking surprise

"I was just saying that you know my name but I don't know your name" She said

"Oh, sorry. I'm Mara Jaffray, class rep" I said

"Class Rep? Cool but I guess you're a pretty bad one" She said in an almost teasing tone

"What do you mean?" I said offended. I may have a lot of problems but I pride myself for being a good representative

"Well, remember earlier today you left me alone and lost and I couldn't get to class on time" She said circling me "So basically you're the reason I was late for my first class, Miss School rep."

"Ok. Fine. Im sorry again." I said shrugging

"Apology not accepted" She snapped stopping on her heel

"What?" I ask in a frustrated tone

"I won't forgive you, unless you introduce me to the looker over there" She said pointing to a tall blonde by the lockers. _Jerome_

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><p><strong>Thats all folks ~!<strong>

**Well, for now atleast **

**hope you like it**

**R&R**

**Thanks for reading~**


	5. Chapter 5

**I wish I was fluent in Korean and Japanese. Well mostly Korean because I'm already pretty good with Japanese :p**

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><p>"Hey, Mara can you help with this?" Joy asked me.<p>

The school won the bid for the exhibition and there was a mask ball for the opening and Joy was the one organizing it.

She asked me to help her to pick which color curtains we were going to use; she said it was for a dramatic entrance or something. I picked a soft red colored one.

"Mara, help me, please" Fabian stated almost pleading, walking up to me.

"With what?" I ask

"My speech, I'm nervous" Fabian explained "and since you have given a lot of speeches I was wondering if you could help me"

"Sure thing" I replied smiling. I took a look at his speech and there was nothing really wrong with it

"Fabian, this is a pretty good speech" I said "don't change anything"

"Really?" he ask "Thanks Mara"

I was tired running around helping other people with their own work, so I sat down on the couch and sighed.

"That Eddie is a complete weasel" Patricia said sitting down next to me

"What did he do this time?" I ask with a bit of annoyance in my tone, thankfully Patricia didn't notice

"He shook the ladder when I was on it and he dropped me on the floor" she explained

"That's mean" I replied

"Oh don't worry, I'm gonna get him soon" She said with a smirk on her face.

"Do I want to ask what you have planned?" I ask a little nervous for what she thinking

"Nope" she replied getting up from the coach

She walked away before I could even reply. I just shrugged it off and stood up and went back to helping with the mask ball.

Later that day while in the Frobisher library, Poppy came up to me, asking about if there was a any word from her father. Jerome walked towards us and asked what Poppy couldn't wait that long for, being the terrible liar I am, I made up some lame excuse that I wasn't sure if Jerome believe or not but it got him off my back for a while.

I went back to the house but before I could even get to the stairs, Victor stated about having a letter for Jerome and Poppy Clarke.

I instantly knew it was the letter from their father, I volunteered to be the one to give it to them. He nodded and gave me the letter, as I was climbing up the stairs Nina asked me about the letter and being the awful liar I am, stuttered but quickly corrected myself.

As I got ready for the ball I had the urge to look inside the letter and read it but my rational side kept screaming 'no'. I listened to it and just let it be while I got dress.

At the ball, it was pretty boring but that transitioned pretty quickly when Poppy showed up.

It was a blur to me but what I could remember was Jerome getting angry at me for helping Poppy about their father.

"I think we should wait this one out" I said to Poppy as Jerome walked away from us, holding the letter in his hands.

"But-"

"Not now Poppy, let's give him time" I cut her off

She nodded before turning away and left for her dorm.

I couldn't help but feel responsible for everything; I tried catching up to Jerome as he walked down the hallways.

"Jerome!" I cried after him "I'm sorry, it was my fault"

He stopped on his heels and turned to face me. I could see tears forming in his eyes but that couldn't be. The Jerome Clarke does not cry.

"Yes Mara, it was your fault" he answered, pointing a long finger at me.

"I know what I did was wrong-"

"Wrong?" he looked at me "You went behind my back. I would have expected that from Poppy but not you Mara, never you, Mara. I can't believe this"

"I'm so sorry Jerome, please" I begged, my voice breaking. I didn't want the only person that I considered my friend to leave me too. "I was only-"

"I don't want to hear it" he said, turning his back and walked towards the main exit.

I couldn't hold back my tears any longer; they started to flow down my cheeks. I quickly headed for the bathroom and looked for an empty stall but everyone was full. I began to panic. I quickly went down to the basement of the school and sat down on a bench. There were tears forming in my eyes, again and I couldn't handle it any more. I took out a razor from my purse. I slowly slid the razor on my smooth skin; blood began to oz from my skin. I closed my eyes and slid the razor on my skin one more time but suddenly stopped when I heard a noise in the shadows

"I knew it" the voice began

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

I didn't need to turn to know who it was; I knew that annoying, smug voice anywhere.

"I could say the same thing but I think I already know" Yuki replied walking out from the shadows, a cigarette in hand, she walked around to face me.

I quickly hid her hand with the cut behind her and stood up looking her in the eyes.

"Oh what do you have behind your back?" she said teasingly before huffing in her cigarette and blowing the smoke in my face.

"It's nothing" I said stuttered after coughing slightly when the smoke hit me

"Oh don't lie. We both know what you're hiding" she said circling me

"Well, Miss Marcelo, if you already know than why are you even asking?" I said clearing my voice

"Oh don't be like that Mara" Yuki said with a grin "show me your arm" she said in a demanding tone

I hesitate but eventually did show her my arm

"Don't tell anyone" I pleaded holding up the sleeve of my dress

Yuki's eyes grew when she saw my cuts and burns, she looked genuinely worried but that couldn't be. That's impossible.

"Does it hurt?" she ask, creasing one wound gently with her fingertips, letting het cigarette in her other hand fall to the floor.

For a moment I was scared, that it could have cause a fire, but she stepped on it and extinguish the light heat

"Only if I want it to" I said my eyes looking empty.

"Why did you do this?" Yuki asked taking my hand gently, scared that she might hurt me

"Because I can" I said coolly as if what I was doing wasn't at any importance but the fact of the matter that it wasn't.

No one cared about me so why would she be concerned about this?

"That. Is wicked!" she exclaimed, feeling my cuts and burns more. A smile on her lips while doing this

I was taken back when she scratched one of the burns. I flinched slightly but suddenly felt pleasure from it

Suddenly she stopped and when I looked at her, she looked serious.

"I can help you" she stated

I laughed mentally. Her trying to help me? Just the thought of that was hysterical.

"No you can't" I replied, taking my hand from her grasp.

"Yes I can" she said stubbornly

"And how can you possibly help me?" I ask, raising an eye brow at her

"For one," he began; her voice suddenly became a soft, smoothing voice "I can be your friend"

My eyes widen, was this girl serious?

"My friend?" I repeated, not believing what she was saying

"Yeah" she nodded

"Okay" I replied, surprising myself from what I just said

She smiled at me and took my hand, intertwining them with her.

"Let's go back to the party" she suggested and I nodded.

I looked back and saw the cigarette stub on the floor; I became worried thinking what if someone sees it. As if reading my mind Yuki picked it up from the ground and put it in one of the black trash bag in the corner.

"See" she turned to me "No more evidence, that both of us was here"

I nodded and she placed her arm around me, we walked back to the main hallway. Everything looked normal and for a moment I forgot what happened with Jerome.

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><p><strong>Time check: 2: 40 am and I have school in 2 hours. I haven't even slept a wink<strong>

**Oh, wow lovely~**

**Just to let you know, HOA hasn't premiered here in the Philippines so I was just basing some scene's with ff I read here and some bits I watched on youtube.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, look. This story is still a live.**

**If you've noticed, my writing has gotten better **

**((or maybe not, that's up to you))**

**And I would like to thank everyone who liked this story when it was pure shit. **

**This is in fact on of my older stories and it is awful but either way. **

**Thanks for sticking around and reading it. **

**To be honest, I deleted some of my older stories and I was really deciding on deleting this or not but I decided not to, yet. **

**So tell me if I should delete this story or not.**

* * *

><p>Days went by and Jerome still hadn't talk to me, or even looked at me for that matter. He did everything to avoid me and to be honest, it stung. I felt like I was just a particle of dust that annoyed him and he tried to get rid of.<p>

I couldn't blame him, I know what I did was wrong but, I still felt sad. Not depressed, just sad. I had Yuki to distract me from the chaos that my mind was going through every time I thought of Jerome.

Yuki, I found out, was a chain smoker. She's been like that ever since her parents divorced. I tried talking her out of it. Our conversation was basically like this:

Yuki: Don't be such a hypocrite

Me: What do you mean?

Yuki: You're saying I should stop smoking because it could kill me, but you go on cutting yourself, like you're a piece of meat.

After that conversation, I stopped pressing the issue.

"Hey, can I smoke here?" Yuki asked as she lay on my bed, magazine in hand. We were in my room that I shared with Patricia.

"I don't think so" I replied as I looked at myself in a full length mirror. A frown on my face, I looked disgusting_. Hips too wide, arms to big, why can't I see my collar bone? _Why_ is my face like that? _"Victor could probably sense it and we would both be in trouble"

"You're maintenance man is so creepy" She said as she flipped through the pages

"At least you don't have to put up with him for days" I said and I heard her laugh

I turn to look at her and I couldn't help but smile. It's been a long time since I smiled a real smile. A smile that wasn't because of Jerome.

Suddenly we heard a knock on the door and I walked over to open it, revealing a tired looking version of the once very charismatic Jerome I was knew. Of course, I knew the reason why he looked that way and I couldn't help but feel guilty for it.

"Hey" He sent me a crooked smile

"Hi" I replied, forcing myself to smile back at him

"I was wondering," He pause "If we could talk for a moment–"

"Hey Jerome" He was cut off by the sound of Yuki's voice, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed.

"Uh… Hi?" Jerome mumbled in response. He obviously didn't notice her until she made her presence known

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked after a moment

"Oh, right" He said "It's nothing, it can wait till later."

I looked at him for a moment, not wanting to comment on anything, considering he probably wanted to talk to me about the horrible thing I did. I could already feel what he was about to say.

_Traitor!_

_Liar!_

_I trusted you!_

I reminded myself to thank Yuki for her presence.

"Okay" I nodded and was about to close the door when he snuck his foot to stop it

"But, I will be leaving for a couple of hours, " He said as I reopened the door fully

"Okay?" I arched an eyebrow

"Trudy's gone and so is Victor." He answered the unasked question that I was thinking "So, if anyone looks for me, tell them I'm out. The others are also out."

"Oh," I nodded gently before continuing "Okay, I'll tell them."

"Great, thanks"

And with that he was gone.

I turned to Yuki, who was smiling.

"What?" I ask

"He is just so…" She paused "HOT!"

"Yuki!" I was not in the mood to talk about Jerome

"And you think it too, don't you?"

"I-I…" I stuttered to find a coherent response but got nothing

"Knew it" She said triumphantly as if she won a gold medal in the Olympics

"Did I here correctly?" She asked after a moment of me trying to stop the blush that crept onto my cheeks "Everyone's out?"

"Yeah…" I replied "But no, you still can't smoke here"

"Not that," She replied "I'm hungry, let's pig out in the kitchen"

I nodded and we hurried down the stair into the kitchen.

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><p>After almost an hour of eating every single thing in the refrigerator and cabinets, we sprawled on the red leather sofa.<p>

"I am full" She said letting out a deep breath.

"Me too" I replied.

"Hey," She turned to look at me "where's the bathroom?"

"Ah… just on the corridor, second door to the right" I said

"Thanks, I'll be back"

She left and I relaxed a little, closing my eyes in the process and let out a deep breath. My mind shutting off for a moment, forgetting everything, but my eyes opened sharply as I hear a strange noise coming from the bathroom.

I followed the noise and when I was close enough, I could distinguish that it was a noise of someone puking.

"Yuki?" I knocked on the door, worried.

No reply.

I knocked again and heard the faucet of the sink turned on and running water.

After a moment Yuki emerged from the bathroom and smiled at me like nothing had happened. Like I didn't know that she had been vomiting.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we walked back to the main room of the house

"What'ca mean?" She asked plopping back down onto the couch.

"I heard you, Yuki" I said "Was it something you ate? Did you eat too much?"

"Mara." She said my name firmly "Shut up, I purged"

"Oh" I said knowing what she meant "Why? You're already skinny"

"Not skinny enough."

"But it's not health–"

I closed my mouth as she turned to glare at me.

"People will like you more if you're skinny" She said

And I couldn't think of a reply. She was right, people won't like you if you're just pretty, you also had to be skinny.

She seemed to have read what I was thinking because the next thing I knew she had convinced me to trying it.

And I did.

I was reluctant at first but her words just echoed in my mind.

_People will like you more._

_You'll be prettier._

_Jerome will like you._

Jerome.

I didn't even want to think of Jerome, what he would say if he saw me, kneeling in front of a toilet bowl, purging.

I couldn't even imagine myself doing it. But I still did it.

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><p>After Yuki left, it was almost seven in the evening, everyone had returned. It was a good thing Trudy went grocery shopping because nothing was left in the cupboards except from things that didn't really have an appeal to me and Yuki.<p>

"Whoa, Mars" Alfie began "Don't want to get too big, right?"

This earned a laugh from the other but I saw the only person that wasn't even smiling. He was in the corner, just observing. His eyes met mine and I turned away. Jerome.

"Don't listen to him, Mara" I turned my attention to Amber, who was on the couch reading a magazine. "You look very… curvy"

_Curvy? Curvy? Did she just call me fat?_

I wanted to scream at her but just simply replied "Thanks, I guess, Amber"

"Hey, what happened to your arm?" Fabian asked, noticing one of my old scars.

I pulled down the long sleeves of my jumper to cover it.

"It's nothing, just an old scar from some time ago" I reply.

And _"some time ago"_ meaning two weeks ago.

The worry on his expression vanished after my response and once again my gaze moved to the one who was by the corner of the room. Not speaking a single word. He shook his head, disapprovingly, for a quick second, that I wasn't even sure if he really did it or I was just hallucinating.

He stood up straight and made his way to his room, without saying a word to anyone.

I felt a strange pain in my chest and decided to go and talk to Jerome.

I knocked on the door and it opened it reveal, a scowl on his face.

"Can I come in?" I asked after a moment

He nodded and made way for me to step in.

For a moment we just stood there, not saying a word and I could hear myself breathing. I was getting anxious, the silence was killing me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, just when I felt I was losing my mind

"No." I replied "I haven't been okay in a long time"

"I know" He said "Why'd you lie?"

For a moment I didn't reply, confusion was obvious on my face as he continued "To the others, why didn't you tell them about how you got that scar?"

"Jerome–"

"It'll help Mara," He took a step closer to me, I looked at his dark blue eyes and felt butterflies in my stomach "I promise"

"I'm not ready" I replied

"I'll help you until you are" He said

And I nodded before he pulled me in for a hug

"I'm sorry" I said into his chest "For what I did, for helping Poppy" I looked up at him, still in his arms "I just wanted to help…"

"It's fine Mara" He looked down at me

"Really?"

"Yeah" He said pulling away from me "I actually went to visit him earlier"

"Really?" I was beyond shocked "What happened?"

"Nothing, really" He replied waking towards his bed, sitting on the edge "I almost walked out on him when I saw him. Feeling like I wasn't ready"

"What changed your mind?" I stood in front of him

"You" He said "I kept on thinking what you would've done"

And in that moment, after days, I smiled. A real smile, that wasn't because of something stupid or because of something Yuki said– which sometimes was the same thing. I smiled a smile only Jerome Clarke could cause.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going?" I asked "I could've gone with you"

"I was going to but I saw you with that girl from school" He said "What's her name?"

"Yuki" I answered "She's my friend"

The words felt strange leaving my mouth. I hardly ever said the words "My" and "Friend" in a sentence unless the word "Not" was in the begging.

He smiled but only for a moment.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Yes" I replied and he looked at me, not believing me.

I sighed and told him what happened.

How could I ever think of lying to Jerome Clarke?

"Why didn't you say no?" He asked, anger was obvious in his tone

"I couldn't" I replied

"Don't do it again, Mara" His voice was low "It's dangerous, and you already have so many problems"

"But–"

He looked at me with a look that I couldn't distinguish. Was it anger? Pleading? Sadness? I wasn't sure, so I just nodded.

"I'm a mess" I said sitting next to him.

"Aren't we all?" He asked placing an arm around my shoulders.

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><p><strong>Hey, once again. <strong>

**Thank you for reading and tell me if I should continue or delete this story in the a review~**

**Okay bye~**

**Thanks for reading~**


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